Well if this isn't the Land O' Lakes butter on the Panera bread. The Show pointed out that the Red Sox are now in cahoots with LeBron, those same Red Sox are in the cellar of the AL East while the Jays and Orioles are sitting atop the division, and now Ben Roethlisberger is getting married. Yeah, the same one who sexually assaulted a slutty in a Georgia nightclub in 2010 and received a 4 game suspension for it. To quote Eric Cartman I just have to say... The Fuck?What's going on here. The world is upside down. Big Ben is getting married? I mean this girl must not follow a trace of football otherwise she'd have heard about what Ben did. Or at the very least see his greasy flow which makes him look like the scum of the fuckin earth. Here's one of my favorite lines from the article: "He said that he's been stunned by the media attention to his engagement and that he's worried about how the attention is affecting his fiancee." Really Ben, your stunned? Can I offer a possible explanation. I think the media is wondering how a girl can actually settle down with you after your past indiscretions. Is that such a stunning theory? I think not. That quote does not compare to this one though: "Harlan (gf) lives with her parents, and Roethlisberger said they are not living together until they're married because of their religious beliefs?" Religious beliefs? Uh, do you know who your marrying sweet cheeks? You better throw that wholesome garbage out the window because Big Ben don't got time for religious mumbo jumbo. Don't be surprised to see your hubby knuckle deep in some sorostitute during the season. But I wish you the best of luck honey... just don't say the Binge didn't warn ya.
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