LeBron Teams Up With Red Sox

That's the Liverpool logo. Yes, I had no clue either...

Pardon my french here, but are you fucking kidding me? LeBron, the man who is booed passionately in Boston. LeBron, the sell-out "future" successor to MJ. LeBron, the goddamn Yankee fan. LeBron, the premature ejaculator. Yes, LeBron James has joined Red Sox owners, John Henry and Tom Werner, in joining the ownership team of Liverpool FC. Did I drink some of Frank Lucas' "blue magic" with my coffee this morning because this can't be real.

Surprisingly I don't really blame LeBron all too much here. The guy is trying to become the wealthiest athlete of all time and getting stake in a European soccer team ain't a bad move. But polish my nuts and make me a milkshake because the Sox owners do not have an excuse. Liverpool is owned by Fenway Sports Management which makes them by association THE team that New Englanders have to support if backed into a corner because let's be honest most of us won't choose a soccer team unless forced to. Thus when you add literally one of Boston's most hated people in its history behind maybe only King George back in 1776, then you can expect an outrage. I can't in good conscious root for Liverpool now knowing that every time they score a goal, LeBron will be celebrating with me while making a shitload of money to boot. Not to mention, what kind of owners do that to a city? It would be like an Israeli guy asking a Palestinian to be his fifth for some pickup ball. A Tutsi inviting a Hutu to Sunday brunch circa 1993. Obama inviting Gaddafi to play some Call of Duty. Or like Tony Parker inviting Brent Barry to watch Unfaithful so that they can watch a different French man bang a married white man's wife. Either way I am pissed three ways to the weekend, and you can bet your bottom dollar that I will be rooting my ass of when Manchester City plays Liverpool come April 11.